Billionaire Mark Zuckerberg has announced an entirely new form of meta-church as part of Facebook’s organisational transfiguration.
The announcement comes as part a Facebook rebrand, which combines all their products under the one new name – Meta.
Damascus Dropbear was graciously granted an exclusive interview with the Meta CEO.
“Meta is about looking beyond, looking to eternity, and that is why as part of this we are launching our new Metachurch movement.”
“Meta-church will allow millions of Christianity consumers across the world to attend a new type of church entirely based on virtual reality.”
“Virtual technology will transform the entire ‘spiritual experience’ – today, you will be with me in ‘metaverse’”
The move is being referred to as the ‘Virtual Reformation‘, and the new Pope Zuckerberg is promising to take people even closer to God.
“Imagine doing church in a virtual reality world that can transport you anywhere.”
“You can have your feet washed by the virtual Jesus, or taste the fruit in the virtual Garden of Eden.”
“Why not hold your worship service in the clouds with the virtual angels, or take communion at the virtual table of the last supper.”
“Blessed are the virtual, for theirs is the kingdom of Zuck.”
Hillsong Megachurch pastor, Brian Houston, did not seem impressed however.
“Pffft, Meta-church. Whatever,” Houston raspberried.
“I’m not even worried.”
“It’s not like they can manufacture the power of the Holy Spirit – or cool smoke machines experiences – in virtual reality meta-church.”
It is further reported that Brian Houston was actually very worried.
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